weekdays

a working stay-at-home mom... is there such a thing? well, that's me.
before sam was born, i worked from a home office. last march i had the opportunity to become the controller for my company. i decided to take the position, after disclosing to my boss that i was pregnant to make sure he didn't want to change his mind. the new position required i travel to the main office on cape cod two days a week. i accepted the challenge.
caleb and i had our lives turned upside down in a matter of months...

• we find out i'm pregnant
• i get a new job, travel required
• caleb's working 25-40 hrs per week at REI
• caleb's going to school full-time for his master's degree
• we find out our landlord is selling their house... we need to MOVE! (which was obvious with a baby on the way anyway)

there was so much more going on in the background... but i won't bore you with it. after sam was born, caleb and i knew i had to go back to work - which as a mom is struggle. i love baby sam and would LOVE to stay home with him ALL the time, but i love my job - which is a career. sure it can be stressful, difficult, hard, and so forth, but my job is so rewarding. how can i give up what i love doing? well, i can't, because i have a husband in school... so therefore, hi ho hi ho back to work i go.
since my position was a "work from a home office" type of position i was "lucky" enough to be able to work from my home office once sam was born.
now i travel to the main office every other week and i'm in the office for 3 days. the travel is difficult, but sam gets to spend time with his grandma (my mom watches him while i'm in the office), i get to work in the office, and i get a break from 24/7 sam. don't get me wrong, i LOVE him and am so  happy i'm his mom. but moms need a break... so they don't lose their marbles...
well, the rest of the time i work from a home office. i have to say, i'm lucky to not have to put sam in daycare, i'm lucky i could exclusively nurse for the first 6 months and not really worry about pumping (nursing moms know what i mean). i have a love/hate relationship with my pump. i'm so thankful for it... but ugh. just think about it... it's like "hello, my name is sara, and i'm a cow..." not exciting. not comfortable. but for sam, i do it because sam means the world to me. i love him unconditionally, most of the time ;)
so, i work from a home office, with a 6 month old. it has been difficult, challenging, rewarding, fun. sam is such a great little person. he's so happy most of the time. so no complaints in that department.
here's a quick synopsis of sam:
7am: wakes up and talks to himself for 30 minutes (i shower, eat breakfast, get ready for the day)
7:30am: go get sam and he's so happy to see me. breakfast for sam, get him ready for the day
8am: work begins, and sam hangs out on the floor or in the exersaucer (or w/caleb ie dad if he's not in class)
9am: sam goes down for a nap, literally, i put him in his crib and he goes to sleep, i continue to work
11am: sam wakes up and eats, he plays on the floor or in the exersaucer
1pm: i break for lunch; sam & i sit at the kitchen table and talk about the day
2pm: another nap for sam, i continue to work
3-5pm: sam wakes up, eats, and plays, i work
4-6pm: i take sam for a walk (no not for 2 hours, at some point from 4-6pm depending when he wakes up)
5-6pm: finish work
7pm: dinner
8pm: sam's in bed - for the night

now i know i won't have this schedule forever, but as a working from a home office stay at home mom... it works for now. and i have to take it day by day. sure life brings you curves balls, but you bring your bat and your A game and somehow at the end of the day, you've gotten it done. i'm so thankful for life right now.

disclaimer: for all three of you who read this blog... i'm terrible at keeping a babybook, so i blog, and then i can look back and see how life was. and since before this week, i hadn't posted since december, i guess i'm terrible at blogging on a regular basis too... but i'm cutting myself some slack since there are only 24  hrs in a day... and during non work time i want to spend with caleb & sam and not sit in front of a computer...

procrastination - at work or home

there is something we all dread at work or home? you dread it, you avoid it like the plague, you procrastinate. you visit Google News, Google Reader, check Facebook, Twitter, update your blog... instead of attacking the problem at hand??? i know i'm a culprit whether it's cleaning out my email inbox, paying bills, filing, scanning, and other such mundane tasks...

 you too can change... this method stems from the 5-Minute Room Rescue: you hate cleaning the house, so you set a timer for five minutes. you start clearing the worst room, stopping with a clear conscience when the buzzer goes off. not so bad. the trick is that once you start, you probably won’t stop. by scaling down the goal to 5 minutes, you overcome your own inertia.

 Dread and inertia are the enemy.  So set a timer for just five minutes and get to work clearing a path.

 taken and slightly reworded from Fast Company

ps- i did this earlier and eliminated the box of miscellaneous papers i "packed" just before moving... and what do you know, i was done in an hour... more than 5 minutes, but now it's done and the box is not staring me down!

my maternity leave is coming to an end and it's bittersweet.

i'm looking forward to the day-to-day of work, my co-workers and doing what i enjoy.

but i'm sad about leaving sam (although it'll be with his mormor). what will i miss?? first steps, first words??

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during my maternity leave i've spent time w/my precious baby boy,

but i've also spent it UNPACKING my apartment. ugh.

here's hoping the last few weeks i'm able to soak up and enjoy w/sam :)

i'm also wondering HOW to manage work and taking care of a baby...

should be interesting.

tips WELCOME!

back to the grind...

it's back to work for me... i had a blissful 2 1/2 week vacation and now it's back to reality...

~a few highlights~

• spending christmas w/caleb's family
• johannes & rebecka's wedding on new year's eve
• shopping w/my cousins (in sweden)
• ice skating on lake siljan w/family & friends
• having dinner w/friends at valpiano in stockholm
• visiting my aunt and her family in uppsala
• ice-skating w/linnea and my aunt anna
• checking out the dom kyrka in gamla uppsala with my mom
• shopping and spending time w/my mormor
• birthday party for ME in sweden
• cross country skiing w/uncle, aunt and mormor
• spending time w/people i love
• coming home to caleb...
• celebrating "christmas" with caleb on jan 10

currently my body is functioning 6 hrs ahead of EST... so i'm off to take a nap!

pictures & videos of my highlights to follow... :)

when the heart waits...

Recently I decided to make a few changes... nothing huge, just small steps.
Last Saturday morning I woke up early to finish writing my "goals" for the next 3 years. It's a long list of over 100 goals, but there are small and large goals. 3 years is over 1000 days, so I have a few seasons to complete some of them (which includes paying down debt, saving for miscellaneous items and overseas travels - both missions & visiting family/friends). After I finished writing my goals I decided to make small daily changes to ensure they are completed.

1) Read more
2) Wake up earlier
3) Go to bed earlier
4) Be more productive at work: go early, take a lunch and end on time

Regarding #4 - i have a tendency to stay at my desk ALL day without taking any breaks and often feeling unproductive - the past 2 days i have done the above and feel MUCH more productive and at peace w/my work.

Check out this blog: Zen Habits | Simple Productivity
The author has some interesting takes on goals, less = more and life in general.

Note: If I am brave enough, I MAY post the goals here... in the meantime, you'll have to just be curious...

Well, yesterday I picked up a book I started reading 2 years ago called "When The Heart Waits". It's a thick book, not in pages, but in the reading. There's a lot in each page. It's written by the same author who wrote "The Secret Life of Bees" which I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend.

The author is going through a midlife crisis and doesn't know where she's headed. Now, I'm not 40, I'm not going through a midlife crisis and I know where I'm headed, at least right now, however she spoke to me through her writing. She writes about praying.

Often, we pray words, words, words and we do not allow our heart to be still and wait. It is said that praying is like a conversation with God. If we are the only one talking, how is God able to converse with us? Of course, God "speaks" in many different ways to different people. In my own experience, it's a "gut" feel. If something feels "right" in my gut, I know it's from God. Believe me, I've tested it more than a few times... ;)

Back to Sue Monk Kidd, the author; and her thoughts on prayer. The Greek word for rest is hesychia. It's a term that also came to mean praying (When the Heart Waits, 137). Does God want us to rest in prayer? When we are rested, are we relaxed? When we are relaxed, are we open to what God wants to speak to us? Have you prayed in rest lately? Have you prayed and waited for God to answer? Have you really waited? These are questions based on spending a few minutes buried in the book. In our instant gratification and rush rush society where we want things done yesterday, we send a text message if we get voicemail and facebook someone because it's faster than email, it goes against our grain to wait. It's HARD to wait. Maybe I should re-think how I pray. Maybe I should take a few moments and wait before starting in on my many "prayer" words, maybe I should take a few moments AFTER my "prayer" words to hear God, to "go with my gut"...

Avkoppling = Relaxation

Weekends are great. The feeling that the day-to-day life of the 5 day work week is over and the weekend is yours to enjoy, to do what you please. Weekends can be a way to catch up with what you haven't had time to do during the week, or a way to relax and "koppla av" as they say in Sweden.

Helgerna finns för att ta det lugnt och koppla av. Det känns skönt att kunna väcka när man vill på en lördag morgon och njut av dagen. Jag var ut och gick en promenade med min mamma, bara gå tillsammans, prata lite och ser alla nya hus som blir byggt i vår område. På en lördag är man inte jaktad, man kan kolla in i varje nya hus och undra hur det ska se ut när den är färdig byggt. Senare på dagen är det ärende som gäller. Det som jag ser fram emot efter solnedgång är hockey. Oj vad jag tycker det är kul. Att knytta skridskor, sätt på min hockey jersey, öppna dörren till is och "bara åk". Vilken härliga känsla! Visst är det sent på kvällen, men det är bara dig, din team och den härliga känsla att åka skridskor i en timme så hårt man kan. Efter, blir man helt slut och den kvällen när man ligger i sängen och sover, då sover man BÄST! Sen är det söndag morgon. Jag vaknar och hoppas att jag kan sova längre, men det finns barn som jag är söndag skol lärare till. De vill att jag är där för att sjunga, leka och har det kul med de. Då stiger man ur sängen, duschar, äta frukost och skynda sig till kyrkan innan barnen kommer. Eftermiddag blir det Amerikansk football som gäller, eller en promenade. Söndag eftermiddagar finns för att göra ingenting. Vilken helg! :)

Something to think about:
"Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine." - Anonymous

Saturdays are meant for relaxation. I love Saturdays. It's nice to go for walks feeling the breeze on your face, and the sun shining brightly. As I walked through my neighborhood, there's no sense of hurry. It is just a lazy Saturday morning. I can talk to my mom as we walk and peer in the different houses being built. We go inside the skeleton houses and plan out how it's going to look when it's finished: bedroom here, kitchen here, fireplace there, master suite here.

After a relaxing walk, you can take care of errands that you weren't able to finish during the week. There's no hurry.

Once the sun sets, the highlight of my weekend has arrived. Playing hockey. The feeling you get as you tie your skates, pull your jersey over your head and snap your helmet in place. I grab my stick and head for the ice. I love the sound of the click as the door opens and the scrape of my skate on the ice. A quick warm-up of skating around the rink and shooting on goal. Then, it's time, the sound of the puck hitting the ice. Gametime. It's the rush you get, struggling to get to the puck as it is pushed into the zone. It's the feeling you get when you and a teammate block off the defense behind the net so one of you gets the puck and the defense loses. It's the sensation of making a pass under pressure and watching as your teammate's stick slaps at the puck and the puck hits the back of the net. It's the satisfaction of coming off the ice completely exhausted, knowing you gave the game 100%. That night, the best feeling is pulling the covers over your head and falling asleep, your body completely worn out.

The next morning, you struggle out of bed. Sunday. It's time to teach Sunday School. Some people may think it is silly to spend a "valuable" Sunday morning teaching Sunday School. They would rather sleep-in. Well, pulling my worn-out body out of bed is difficult, I will admit. However, the satisfaction from seeing the 5 year old's face light up when I tell him we're doing an obstacle course, or the sound of the 4 year old's voice when I tell her we're going to sing her favorite song - she starts belting out the tune with a smile on her face before the rest of the class has even comprehended which song we're singing. Teaching Sunday School is such a reward. The children are so fun to teach and they always have funny stories to tell. They want you to think they are special and you leave knowing you've left your footprint on a child's life.

Sunday afternoons are filled with family dinner, football, and just enjoying the laziness of a Sunday. The feeling that you have nothing to do till Monday morning is satisfaction enough.

“Att våga är att förlora fotfästet en liten stund.
Att inte våga är att förlora sig själv.”
- Sören Kierkegaard

This sums up my weekend :)

"I’m looking forward to looking back on all this."
- Sandra Knell